Advice For The Kids

Mental Health

  1. If people in your family have had mental health issues after doing drugs (e.g. Marijuana) then you most likely will suffer the same fate. It runs in families. Just because it is legal or everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean it is safe for you. Don’t succumb to peer pressure.
  2. If you are using drugs to medicate pain from trauma it is far better to reach out to friends, family, teachers, therapists, pastors and God (through prayer). People do care about you and love you. People will listen to the trauma you have experienced, empathize with you and help you.
  3. If people in your family have had trouble with addiction then you most likely will suffer the same fate. This means that it is very hard for you to stop at just one. Once you get started it will be very hard to quit. Do not think that you will be smarter or stronger than your relatives. It is OK to not drink – find friends who are OK with this. If you do have a substance use problem please seek help – you are not alone in this. There are rehab centers and recovery groups (Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) that can help you get clean and give you support throughout the process.
  4. A lot of people who have experienced trauma use music to numb the pain (particularly rock, emo, or metal). A lot of music in these genres tends extremely sad, angry or hateful. Going to therapy to talk about the trauma you have experienced would be a better outlet and would be much better for your mental health (alternatively friends, family, teachers, pastors and God (through prayer)). If you are listening to this stuff you most likely are internalizing the trauma that you have experienced (meaning you don’t tell people about it because you think they don’t care). People do care about you – give therapy a shot for a private and non-judgmental outlet. In addition to being an outlet for venting about trauma, your therapist will also give you life skills and coping strategies. They will help you work through problems in life.
  5. News, Podcasts, & Social Media – a news/podcast/social media detox may be in order to improve your mental health. Is the quantity that you are consuming good for your mental health? Are the specific sources (news/podcast/social media) that you are consuming good for your mental health? Be selective and set limits. While it is important to pay attention to issues, current events, fight for justice, and vote etc. the news has a tendency to display the worst of humanity on a recurring 24 hour cycle. Constantly bathing yourself in this is not good for your mental health. It is wise to be aware of the effect that it can have and to set appropriate limits. Sometimes it is OK to take a break.
  6. Finally the goal of the site (especially this page) is to help lift people out of bad places they may have found themselves in. As a person who has personally suffered from anxiety, depression, ptsd, truama, etc. I have spent a good amount of time thinking about how to best help people replicate some of the things that I have done. It will provide you with some simple stepping stones and a helping hand to get out. If you are currently having a mental health emergency please seek immediate help and call the 988helpline.

More on Music and Mental Health

For those who have experienced trauma here are some examples of what your music probably sounds like:

I am assuming you have what I call ‘Sad Eyes’ in photos. I also assume you have an internal ache that is always there. It is like a hole that you fill with music, drugs or something else. I’m truly sorry for whatever it was you have experienced or are experiencing in your life. Depending on how long you have been experiencing trauma and have been internalizing your problems, your musical tastes could have grown sadder, darker, or angrier than the above songs. As you work with your therapist to heal, try to draw lines on your music. So for rock music – only soft vocals, non psychotic guitars/lyrics, and no satanic content. For rap music pay attention to the song topic and lyrics and avoid the bad ones. Music significantly affects your inner mental state – your thoughts and emotions. If you listen to angry music, your vibe is angry. If you listen to sad music your vibe is sad. The more you internalize your problems and the more of this kind of music you consume, the worse you will get. You think it is comforting you, but in reality you continue to get sadder, angrier and more hateful at the world. This process continues until you end up in a place that you don’t want to be. This is why it is important to give therapy a try. They will help you to actually process your trauma and heal from it in real and meaningful ways. As you heal, try to mix in more positive music. Try the following song by Michael Franti & Spearhead. You will notice that it has the opposite effect on your mental state – it uplifts your mood instead of keeping it down.

Finally God sees your pain and wants you to come back to Him.

You might think that no one pays attention to you or cares about you – maybe you suffer from neglect and/or abuse. I wanted to let you know that He knows everything you have ever done. He made you. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done. He knows what you have been through and loves you.

This is the story of the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4):

This is the calling of Mary Magdalene:

This is the healing of Mary Magdalene: