Advice For The Kids

Dating

1. Your spouse should be someone who shares your values and worldview. What is inside is more important than the outside. Someone who loves you the way you are instead of you having to be something that you aren’t. A lifelong partner, monogamy, and no premarital sex (of any kind e.g. oral).
2. Porn is a sin. Masturbation is a sin. At the end of your life you will be judged. You will sit with Jesus and go over even the tiniest sin you committed. I know it is incredibly addictive but for those who believe it would be wise to stop. The industry is horrible for the women – so stopping is a great kindness to these workers.
3. Dating should start in Middle School. It should be chaperoned by the parents (who will provide transportation) and there will be no sex of any kind. The goal is to learn how to make friends with the opposite sex, get to know people who share common interests, and to develop interest in them as a person/partner. Going on dates is as simple as striking up a conversation around common interests, asking for contact info and setting up the activity. These are great social skills for kids to learn. It is literally the same as making friends with same sex peers (so this instruction can alleviate anxiety). After High School, if you have had a steady relationship, marriage can happen. This way sex isn’t so far off that it seems impossible to wait for and the values of self control and patience can be instilled. This instruction and guidance is an active activity led by the parents. Hormones come early – so the interest is there but most children won’t reach out to parents for advice – they will go to other kids or the internet for advice.
4. Tying into the above – parents need to have an active presence in the lives of their children. If you don’t know what is going on in their lives that is a problem. You will keep trying to initiate the discussion until you get what you want. Try getting them to talk about their lives by being specific with questions. “What did you do in school today?” typically just gets “I dunno” as a response. Ask specific questions such as “What was one thing you learned in science class today?”. “What did X friend who sits next to you at lunch say today”. “What did you order for lunch?”. “What is the person to your left in Ms. X’s class like?”. Once you get them talking it will be easier to get them to open up about things. Be persistent until you get a conversation started. This is also how you will identify problems in their life and provide advice. Tying it back to dating – do not assume your kid has no interest in this.